If you attempt to solve this problem using the lecture method, then you may just drive your spouse to spend more, thus resulting in more problems.

A more effective strategy to combat this problem is to keep track of household expenses.  Accountability for household expenses may be just enough to show your spouse the areas that need work, without really saying anything.

If this doesn’t work? Then the time has come to get separate bank accounts.  And if your spouse’s spending is causing extreme stress on your household finances, then you may have to consider stronger measures.

Finally, you might consider lightening up a little. Marriage is one of life’s great blessings. If you think the occasional iToy is expensive, wait until you see how much a divorce costs.

You hop online to check your bank account, just like you do on a regular basis, but the screen says sorry we are experiencing technical difficulties, and you can’t check to see if your direct deposit is in your account. So you try this over and over again, but still it doesn’t work. Still trying to find out if your deposit has come in, you now try to call the bank’s 1-800 number, and when you call you receive a recording that says “sorry this service is not available at this time”. So you shoot up to the local ATM machine to check your balance, and it is Temporarily Out of Service. Now let me ask you a question, do you think “wow, there computers must be on the fritz” or do you think to yourself “I wonder if my bank went out of business”? Well, I have encountered computer glitches on several occasions, but when this scenario happened to me last week, I started to think that maybe my bank had gone under and my money was gone. Unfortunately, with all the hype and focus on the state of the economy, you can’t help but keep these worries in the back of your mind. Even when you think that they aren’t seeping in, they probably are. One way to keep things in check is to read your news instead of getting it over the airwaves. Although, they can still put a spin on it, it is a little less traumatizing to read it in print then to listen to it. Then if you read something and you are unclear about what was said you can go back and reread it. When you hear it, it is in a fleeting moment and then it is gone, sometimes leaving you unsure as to what you just heard. Also, tone and inflection can play a big role in how you interpret what is being said, and in the paper they are less likely to influence you in this way.

Don’t feel alone, we are all feeling the heat. Try to do things to keep yourself calm and realize that either way we will make it through this difficult time, as have many who have come before us, we will persevere.